There had recently been some wretched reports in the local papers of a satanic ring bust that had included many children. This had been a pretty horrific case and I had no desire to dwell on it.
One fine day I was cleaning the house when the phone rang. It was Sausage’s infant school head teacher. She told me I needed to come to the school at once to discuss something Sausage had told the teacher. Obviously worried sick I dropped everything and rushed right round to the school. When I arrived I was confronted by his class teacher and his head mistress and was invited into the office to chat. Sitting down very nervously I anxiously asked what had happened. The two teachers looked pretty grave and my stomach was in my mouth! The head teacher told me they were very worried because Sausage had told them his grandmother had been feeding him dog food! My jaw nearly hit the floor but after only around two seconds I started to laugh. The teachers looked at each other looking very puzzled and quite concerned. I realised I best explain and quick smart. I then went on to explain to them that Sausage’s nanna on his Dad’s side had a dog that did not actually ever eat dog food. His nanna used to buy best cuts of meat, chicken, liver, lamb, chops, SAUSAGES, you name it and cook them up for the dog. On occasion she would give Sausage little pieces of meat just before putting a portion into the dog’s bowl. Knowing Sausage as they did they, thank heavens, knew I was telling the truth and that’s all there was too it.
Tonight’s lesson for Sausage was going to have to be the explanation that not everything a dog eats is necessarily dog food!